Report on NDEs – Part two
The trauma of returning to organic life
The abundant information today available about the Spirit dimension – or other alternative dimensions experienced during a critical condition for the human organism – has been made possible by the fact that the conscious Egos of those who had the experience have been reconnected to their own organisms. In most cases this reconnection was made possible and helped by the constant and prolonged use of body resuscitation techniques by a team of specialized operators, determined to do everything possible to prevent the death process from becoming irreversible. In some cases, however, the resuscitation of the organism occurred spontaneously, without help from other people, or when the medical staff had given up making further attempts. This is what happens in our human plan. As far as the experience of the conscious Ego is concerned, things are very different, in particular when the Ego is involved in the Spirit dimension. In a lot of experiences the Ego shows its firm determination to want to stay in that dimension, where it finally feels at ease and at home, openly and unambiguously manifesting its will not to return to what it feels like the jail of organic life. But the strangest, and in some ways incomprehensible, aspect of the process by which the Ego is brought back to organic life seems to me to consist in the fact that – while in some cases the Ego is reminded that it has yet to complete the task that has been entrusted to it, especially when it has to take care of other people whose life depends on it – in other cases it seems that the Ego is left a free choice between remaining in the Spirit dimension or returning to organic life: however, even when the Ego expresses its will to remain, it is then inexorably reconnected to its own organism. Here are some examples of the various ways in which this phase is experienced by the Ego during the NDEs.
«The voice said again, "You cannot stay, you have to go back." I was deeply shocked, yet the words burst out, "Wild horses couldn't drag me there." And I got frightened about my words, but in this moment I really felt this way. The idea to turn around, go back into my old life now that home was so near, was shattering» (nderf: 4945 – Beatrice W).
«They telepathically explained that I was faced with a choice that only I could make from within my Higher Heart. They asked me, would I remain with them in this expanded Higher Heart energy or would I return to my earthly form? They explained that I had agreed to terms of a Higher Heart contract that my soul had agreed to complete before I was born. We all made these agreements whether we are conscious of doing so or not. Because God honors all choices and we reside on a planet that has free will, I had unconsciously chosen to terminate my contract years earlier than I had agreed before birth» (nderf: 4769 – Maureen K).
«"I don't want to go back," I protest aloud. "I want to stay here." I am being pulled away. But this unbelievable peacefulness my ninety-five-pound body ached for and finally found is mine, and no one is going to take it away. "I don't want to go back," I beg again. But it is too late. "YOU MUST COME BACK." The voice is soft, but carries a finality I cannot argue with. The words hold complete authority. I have no choice» (nderf: 4765 – Susan H).
«I was then told that I would need to come back to Earth. I didn't want to come back and I fought it. But, I was told my mission was to speak to the world about my experience and to teach that God is love and our purpose here is to show love and kindness to everyone. Heaven is REAL» (nderf: 4699 – Ashley M).
«And she told me, "Adriana, if you pass through here, you will not be able to return." I understood that she was giving me a choice. I was still me, Adriana. I was not my body, but I was my essence, and I began to ask myself what there was to return to? Why leave that place where I was so happy, so full, and with such great joy and love in my heart, when I heard my daughter's voice, telling me, "Mom, I need you for my wedding." She didn't have a boyfriend and during the 45 days that I had been in intensive care, she always told me that if I was exhausted, to leave, not to stay for them. But this day was different. She asked me to come back. I understood that we are in this world for love, because only a love of that magnitude could make us leave that peace and the unimaginable joy of that plane» (nderf: 4663 – Adriana G).
«A conversation began... and I was asked if I would like to return. The absolute truth of my soul is that I felt completely insulted at this suggestion. I was horrified at the thought and felt myself loud within me, respond No! There was a pause and I felt a little confused, wondering why this was being asked of me. Again, the same question repeated within me, "Do you wish to go back?" Again, I said No. There was another pause and then I was shown the baby I had just birthed, lying in the crib beside my body. I was shown much from time to come. Various outcomes that depended solely on whether or not I returned to my body» (nderf: 4661 – Rachel F).
«God then told me, "You can stay, but I want you to go back because you are a part of my plan." I asked "What do you mean I am a part of your plan?" It was then shown what my part of God's plan was and how each of us affect all those around us. I was shown that there is a reaction to all our interactions, like a domino-effect of good or bad. I was made to understand that if I stayed there, that God would have to change millions of events in order to make his plan work because I would not be there to make it happen. I told God, "I will go back for you if it is a part of your plan (which I had a complete understanding of at the time) but if I go back, can you fix my neck? Not for me, but for my son so that he does not have to take care of me? It is bad enough that his mother is gone." God agreed, and said "You will not be allowed to remember and keep all of the knowledge you have gained here because mankind will not understand, nor can they know what my plan is for now."» (nderf: 4614 – William R).
«Now, I was afraid. I resisted as I didn't feel like coming back to the body. I wanted to stay in the spiritual world, because there I was happy and felt fine. But I did come back. And that was really cruel, because it felt as if I was strapped into a strait-jacket after I had been able to move freely. I felt terrible pain. I couldn't feel coldness, warmth or anything. I only felt pain and had spasms» (nderf: 4592 – Anni S).
«The pain and joy that we suffer here teaches us so much about love and goodness by experiencing the lack of it. It's a powerful lesson we have to learn. I was informed that I was only going to be there until they got my body fixed up enough to where I could inhabit it again. I was devastated, again. I didn't want to go back! But I had to go back» (nderf: 4558 – Timothy V).
«"Now you are allowed to make a DECISION! IT'S YOUR CHOICE. Do you want to return into this/your body, or do you want to tell it good-bye here and now?" From today's view I don't believe, that there was ever the question to die and to leave these planes, but rather about the unbelievable insights; the realization of the DECISION, CONNECTEDNESS, EFFECT, and the TRUTH. I was allowed to CONSCIOUSLY say "YES" to myself to my "BEING human" and to return to my body. I was allowed to CONSCIOUSLY melt back with it, connecting again. I was flowing into it's cells, while feeling it's boundaries and it's density» (nderf: 4331 – Anke E).
«I couldn't understand why they thought I would want to go back. Being there with them was so beautiful. They told me my lessons were not complete and I still had much to learn and much to teach others. They told me that I was needed. They told me that they are always with me and that I must remember that I am not alone... My choice all came down to love and responsibility to one another. So I chose, very reluctantly, to come back» (nderf: 4244 – Karen M).
«I knew in my heart of hearts and in the deepest core of my soul, that I did not want to go back. After escaping "the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God," as the poet John Gillespie Magee put it, I wanted to stay. After experiencing "Heaven," in no way did I want to go back to earth anytime soon. If earth was a theme park, then they could have any part of my "unused ticket" they wanted; I had had enough drama for a while. I was finished with that petty, trite, hellhole of an earth-game it all had become... With a tremendous sense of loss, I went back to my life» (nderf: 3993 – Duane S).
«I wanted to stay in the world of love, peace, and light, but they reminded me of my responsibilities back on the earth. I argued and refused to return. They told me that if I don't return, I won't be able to achieve certain spiritual capabilities which I would have received had I gone back to earth. I still didn't want to return and would rather stay there. Finally they showed my parts of my future and how if I returned it would affect many other people and help them to see the Light» (nderf: 3991 – Mohammad Z).
«I didn't want to go back: Not now, not ever. This Place was too beautiful and loving for me to want to leave. But she insisted that I had a life to live. It wasn't time for me to be here for good. I argued up and down and even yelled a few times. Can you imagine, arguing with a Being such as this? But I did. I argued and cried. I insisted I didn't want to go back to a broken body and all of the repercussions from this experience that awaited me. She watched me with what I felt was sadness, but she insisted that it was my time to go back» (nderf: 3942 – Nancy R).
«I once again felt the pull back out of Heaven. I felt that I was fighting hard not to leave this glorious place that I was in. I fought but to no avail. I was returning to earth but wanted to know why I had to leave and why I couldn't stay. I received no answers» (nderf: 3938 – Rob N).
«I was desperate. I didn't want to be here. I asked myself once again, why they had woken me up, if finally I had slept after battling to breathe. It was as if nobody cared what I wanted. Everyone wanted to bring me back to this place where everything hurt, and I could barely breathe... I fought to return to where I had been for some seconds. There was no reason to stay here, where there had been so much pain and suffering. I just wanted to return to this light, this love, and this instant. I wanted to feel this immense love and fullness that I had felt» (nderf: 3891 – Ana Cecilia D).
«I could enter my body; my body was a piece of time in space. Or, I could stay out of my body and be everywhere, part of everything, which would be a different type of time in space. I asked the question, "Should I go back into my body?" The answer was, "No, you should wait. If you were to go back now, you would die." I knew I was ignorant of the reasoning behind it. "Wouldn't I die if I waited?" "No, you're fine. Wait. If you want to go back, I will tell you when." Many people have said I was talking to G*d. I was not talking to G*d, nor an angel. I was talking to myself. I was the universe. I was G*d. I knew everything and nothing at the same time. I was everything» (nderf: 3875 – Rachel E).
«...I decided that I wanted to go back to earth... Hansine especially did not like the idea of sending me back. She told me that my life down here would be very hard. I think what she meant to say was that life on earth is difficult compared to existence in heaven... Then Hansine protested to Mother by claiming that being sent back to earth could ruin me. She simply wanted to protect me» (nderf: 3852 – Leonard K).
«I do not want to leave her, but somehow, I make a decision that I cannot stay right now. I must go back and be in my body in the now, although I prefer it not be so. I feel quite indifferent about everyone, the kids; however, I am settled with this decision and come back to my body» (nderf: 3812 – Penny W).
«Then he asked again, with such a divine voice, an actual, physical voice, "Look again. What do you see NOW?" Suddenly, I saw what the voice saw, "I see our planet and there are no borders dividing countries. The borders are gone!!" He said, "This is why you're going back. You have a mission." That's how I came back» (nderf: 3784 – Anna A).
«I do remember laying there saying aloud over and over, "NO, LET ME GO BACK! WANT TO GO BACK!" with tears streaming down my face. I was so upset and I felt for the longest time that I never got to make the choice, that the doctors did it for me and I was so MAD at them. I think I spent many years depressed and angry because I believed that they robbed me of my graduation date from this planet. I truly believed for so long that I was meant to leave on that day. I couldn't understand why I would be given a glimpse of something so beautiful only to have to return to such pain» (nderf: 3774 – Nichole BD).
«I started to rise up into the void and was filled with the feeling of returning home. Whatever was raising me there, made the journey comfortable and loving. On my journey upward, I felt a tug. I looked down and witnessed the man save me by running over and tell everyone to pick up my legs to re-inflate my lungs. When this happened, I was filled with dread at the prospect of returning to the earthly realm. With all of my spiritual might, I fought the return to my body. It was as if I was crying and asking God to not return me» (nderf: 3554 – Eruera M).
«Then a great powerful voice, which seems to echo in all directions and vibrates through to my very soul, declares: "It is not your time", whereupon I feel such sorrow and in my mind, I am saying "No, no, no. Please don't make me go back", for I do not want to return to this Earth, ever again. I awake in the hospital bed two days later and cry in heartache that I am here on Earth again» (nderf: 3521 – Yazmine S).
«I came to understand that realizing a dream was less than having a dream. It's the first time in my life that I was standing between two extreme feelings, contentedness and loss, joy and sadness. Half of my heart was bright red, filled with dreams and freedom; the other half was empty and dark, lonely and confused. I experience the two sides of life's coin."Is it the final judgment? Are we evaluating the good and bad, the moral and evil of life?" I asked. I didn't know where that place was, nor did I know which decision I should make. Should I leave when my dreams were accomplished, or should I stay and truly learn to be alive? I honestly didn't know how to answer this very final question» (nderf: 3401 – Dr. Bell C).
«At the next moment I was being "sucked" back into my body. I'll never forget that experience. I describe it as akin to a genie being put back into a bottle. I went from existing with complete weightlessness and experiencing this oneness with the universe, and all else that contained the universe, back to the bottle of my body. The experience really was like being sucked back into a small enclosure» (nderf: 3265 – Gustave P).
«Then a voice spoke over my left shoulder, a voice so beautiful, full of love and so deep that I will never forget that sound. He said, "Your time is not now. You must go back to your children. They need you." I said, "I do not want to go back" several times over, and the voice said, "Your newborn baby needs a mother and your other two children need you."» (iands: Thursday, 25 November 2008 – There Is More).
«I was given the choice that I could either come back to earth and live more life or stay with him in heaven. We both knew that returning to earth would be a struggle because I told him that I wanted to return to earth if I could help others and myself. He knew that I didn't want to live more life on earth if it meant being trapped in an unresponsive body, unable to communicate. The look of love in his eyes filled me with joy then, and as I remember that feeling of joy I felt I'm filled with joy anew» (iands: Friday, 29 August 2008 – Spirit Communication).
«I couldn't make out a face but she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. This I knew. This I still know. She said, "You can't go. I can't let you go." But, I didn't want to listen. She kept telling me that I couldn't go, that she couldn't let me go. After repeating that a few times, she sternly said, "You cannot go." A tear was rolling down my left cheek and she wiped the tear with the part of her index finger between the first and second knuckles» (iands: Friday, 29 August 2008 – You Cannot Go).
«I understood that I had to choose between the left corridor and the right one. The left meant I would choose to die and the right to live. I recall thinking to myself, "I didn't realize I was this badly injured." (Later, several medics confirmed that I could have died if I hadn't been in good shape and taking care of myself.) I somehow understood that turning left meant choosing to die and leaving my current situation to move onto something else. Conversely, turning right meant remaining alive» (iands: Thursday, 14 February 2008 – Charcoal Corridor).
«I thought, "This is perfect. I want to stay here forever. I have never felt this wonderful!" I felt absolute clarity, peace, and love. Thank God because that scene and feeling are imprinted so strongly in me that I can recall the experience at will» (iands: Thursday, 14 February 2008 – I Want to Go Back).
«The Being quickly asked me what the thought was that had just entered my consciousness. I had thought that it would be a shame for my daughters to have grown up without their father in their life. I had spent a large part of my life without my father in it, and I would have liked my daughters not to experience that. Anyway, I was ready to go. The Being said that because my reason for wanting to return was somebody outside myself, I would be allowed to return. Before I had the chance to express that I didn't really want to return, there was a rapid, confused movement, something happened, the other spark which had been "observing" was somehow a part of it, and then I was waking up in this body, in traumatic pain...» (iands: Friday, 01 February 2008 – Glow of Energy).
«I was telling him that I needed to go back and he replied that it wasn't possible. I saw in his facial expression that he did not want me to go. I told him again that I wanted to go back. He then showed me an image of a young handsome and wealthy couple that just had a baby boy and he told me that I could be born as that baby. The offer was very tempting, but I refused. I told him that I needed to go back to this life. He said if I go back in this time, life would not be the same and very difficult. I listened to his advice, but I willed myself back into this lifetime» (iands: Friday, 08 May 2009 – Billions of Conscious Minds).
«Again he encouraged me to return because he said that "I needed to raise my sons." I told him that they had a great father and they would be fine, after all wasn't free-agency a part of his plan. A response of great humor and joy surrounded me and he said "I'd expect you to argue for your own case!" I was overwhelmed by how intimately he knew me. Then he told me that he needed to show me something else. What he showed me was my husband's death! My husband died four years later in an accident» (iands: Thursday, 19 July 2007 – Surrounded by Pure Love).
«However, I had the choice of whether to come back into life or go toward death. I was made to understand that it was not my time but I always had the choice, and if I chose death, I would not be experiencing a lot of the gifts that the rest of my life still held in store. One of the things I wanted to know was that if I chose life, would I have to come back to this sick body because my body was very, very sick and the organs had stopped functioning. I was then made to understand that if I chose life, my body would heal very quickly. I would see a difference in not months or weeks, but days!» (iands: Thursday, 26 April 2007 – Shown How Illnesses Start on an Energetic Level).
«"He" said "you are not ready yet. You have to go back." Then I just turned into the biggest baby, the worst spoiled brat in the entire world. I completely refused. I resisted. I fought his message and continued begging him with my feelings to just let me stay there with him and that I did not want to go back. I must say again that "he" radiated superiority, but not a conceited or greedy superiority, not a better than you attitude, and not a proud superiority» (iands: 16 April 2006 – Gargantuan Energy Source).
«My heart is still pounding with ecstasy. If I had known that I would return to this body on earth by touching that man's hand, then I would not have reached for his hand. Why didn't God warn me that I was leaving Him? I suppose I was meant to return to earth because if I had known beforehand, then I would have refused to go. But why was I sent back? There must be a reason that I had to return» (iands: 02 April 2006 – Out of Body Ecstasy).
The above examples, and the many others that could be added to them, are sufficient to make us understand how the range of experiences in which our conscious Ego can be involved is much wider than any reductionist theory, with claims of scientific validity, want to lead us to believe. Once it has come out from the singularity determined by organic life – which is contrasted by the objectivity of an external world of which many other subjects more or less similar to us are part – the Ego seems to be able to dispose of a wider range of perceptive faculties of its own consciousness, which allow it to directly interact with the Spirit's divine component. As one of the NDErs (Rachel E) aptly observes in her testimony, «I was not talking to God, nor an angel. I was talking to myself. I was the universe. I was God. I knew everything and nothing at the same time. I was everything». In the Spirit dimension a form of reality is created – determined by a mental activity of a higher quality than that which we experience in our ordinary organic life – which the conscious Ego perceives as certain and indubitable, and in which it almost always wants to stay: the forms of dialogue, recrimination, resignation, obedience, prayer or anger with which the Ego experiences its reaction to the idea of returning to organic life, seem to be the different representations of a tension to which the Ego is subject as an intermediary between the mental reality that shows itself in the Spirit dimension and the psychic reality determined by organic life. In many cases the Ego of those who have experienced an NDE knows and remembers both of these forms of reality.
The effects of NDEs on the protagonists' lives
The changes that occur in the way the conscious Ego perceives and views human life after experiencing the Spirit dimension cover a wide range of emotional reactions and orientations: in a certain number of cases the changes with respect to the way this life was interpreted and lived before the experience concern a greater interest in spirit matters, a decrease in the importance attributed to organic life and the needs that derive from it, an attitude of benevolence and of empathy towards our fellowmen, and a commitment to the spreading of one's experience, even through books that sometimes become best-sellers, or conferences and appearances in very popular TV programs. In these cases it can be assumed that the effects of NDEs are also positive for the residual organic life, which is lived with interest, commitment, serenity, and not infrequently even with joy. But in other cases, having experienced the Spirit dimension determines in the conscious Ego, once it has returned to this organic life, feelings of discomfort, frustration, maladjustment and even anger, which can last for years. In particular, even the relationships with the closest people can be affected, either due to the distrust or disbelief with which the experiences narrated by the NDErs are sometimes received and interpreted by others, and because of the changes in the orientations and needs towards life that occur as a result of what has been experienced. The following examples cover and illustrate this wide range of possibilities.
«I noticed that I felt totally clear, more clear than ever before. As if a kind of purification/clarification had happened... I even felt great! I wanted to attend the festivity and revel! To celebrate my great condition, my newly gained lucidity, my experience! But this wouldn't happen. "You better taker her home", the friends of my boyfriend advised. So he took me at my home. On the way I was looking through the open car window into the night sky and I said, "I've just been up there."» (nderf: 4945 – Beatrice W).
«It is difficult to adapt to Earth after coming back from a much higher and evolved place. I think I've never really adapted to this world; I live and try to do my best to complete why I've come for. Of course, I tried to escape this reality through ingesting drugs and alcohol. I experienced depression and a desire for death, but I would have never killed myself since I know how life is important and precious. I spent all those years waiting for the end of this life, wasting my time. I think my incarnation down here is more difficult than I thought, the loneliness is so heavy» (nderf: 4740 – Sarah B).
«For months later, I remember being depressed because I wanted to go back. I have only shared this experience with only a handful of people. However, I am feeling the pull to share my story. It is difficult because I am a teacher, and I live in a very conservative area. Many of the things I experienced even go against my Christian religion. I do not hold all the answers. I believe that there is a God, and I cannot deny the existence of Heaven. I believe that whatever I believe, that if it resonates with me, helps demonstrates love to others, and gives me peace, then that is my truth. I can have bits and pieces of what I personally experience in a NDE and still find peace going to church or hiking in the mountains etc. It is my connection to God's Love that matters» (nderf: 4699 – Ashley M).
«It took my spirit longer to recover than my body, though that in itself was a long time. I was very depressed, for many years, and often dealt with suicidal thoughts because the desire to be "home" was so great. I was confused for the longest time. I was afraid, I found being in a body painful, restricting and limiting. I am still greatly uncomfortable with it; however, I have learned to love and be grateful for my life and breath... I remembered my purpose at this time. I started an online community called "Bruised But Not Broken" and over the following 6 years built a community of over 700,000 individuals that had experienced sexual abuse, trauma, addiction, loss. Together, we work to heal our wounds and strive to be the best version of ourselves we can be» (nderf: 4661 – Rachel F).
«My life since the NDE has been a bit traumatic since the people I have talk to so far cannot understand what I am talking about when I try to explain my NDE to them. Some think I have gone mad. I also notice that I do not connect to people the way I used to. Now much of the human race disgusts me and I have severe anxiety trying to understand their "issues." Many times their experiences seem so trivial and self-centered to me that my heart actually aches. I have also some new gifts since my NDE... I can hear peoples thoughts sometimes and get visions of their lives... My whole life has completely turned around and I have found it to be a blessing and a curse as I do not relate to the average person the way I used to» (nderf: 4613 – Telesa H).
«The near death experience has made me feel that I don't belong here. I feel that I'm on a charter trip down here and that I belong to the spiritual world. I am grateful and happy for my family and my friends, and I live more intensely today than I did before. But I appreciate each year I get older, for then I know that I come closer to death and the spiritual world. We are all on such a charter trip on earth. Our true home is in the spiritual world with God. That is our point of origin. And we're all going back to our true home when we have fulfilled our tasks on the charter trip» (nderf: 4592 – Anni S).
«I knew I had just experienced something phenomenal and extraordinary. The following weeks were filled with my telling everyone I knew what had happened. I have not stopped talking about this NDE. It is my joy, it is my new life. It is my gift and the reason I want to live. Simply to share the story that we are so incredibly made and Loved by the All There Is, IS Love, God» (nderf: 4537 – Alma B).
«When I returned to my body, I really missed that place and I still think about it today. We are here to grow as spiritual beings and to experience certain things. I remember things from before and during my birth. I remember choosing my parents for their personality and kindness. On a certain level I'm pretty sure I chose to have asthma to keep me from making the mistakes of another life» (nderf: 4515 – Jeff H).
«From my first experience up until today, I am understanding that every day that I live on earth in this body, I am to experience joy and bliss here. The lives we live here on earth don't happen by chance; our lives are a direct consequence of what the mind creates. I am here on earth to open my heart every day to unconditional love. I am here in this body to leave behind every remaining fear and attachment. I am here on earth to express every day the joy that I am. I am here to discover here and now, how much more space for freedom lies deep within me. I am here to learn freedom and expand it throughout the world around me. I am here on earth to live happiness and lightness of being» (nderf: 4500 – Stefania S).
«My NDE has and will continue to be the most metaphysically profound experience I've ever had. I was brought to tears writing this memory of my experience, because my words pale in comparison to all the things I saw, felt and heard during my journey into a heavenly realm. I'm not religious, but I remain closer to spirit than ever because of my NDE. I know that there are dimensions beyond this one, and that I am here for a reason. I have a purpose, and until it is fulfilled I will be here» (nderf: 4489 – Laurie L).
«Since this experience, EVERYTHING is different. I AM different! I changed my focus in life. I am not searching anymore, only finding. I feel no pressure, No MUST and OUGHT TO, but instead an unconditional "YES" to myself and my WORLD and to the wonderful way I am allowed to experience it» (nderf: 4331 – Anke E).
«If I had to sum up, the main lesson of my NDE is that God, or the light, is a loving force that doesn't want people to harm others and wants us to feel joy and happiness in our lives. Love and kindness are the greatest gift we can give others. We are all a part of that light, but we forget how to love because of fear. We forget how to walk through this world as the light. We are all closer to God as children because love comes more natural for us» (nderf: 4213 – Tricia B).
«Now that I was confident that I was still alive, I went back to sleep; and never mentioned this incident to anyone. However, it keeps haunting me and I feel sorry at returning to my body. I wish I had stayed in those lights forever. I keep asking myself, "Why have I come back? What are the reasons? Why haven't I stayed THERE??" I find no answers to these questions. I feel sorry for this separation from where I was» (nderf: 4197 – Ali A).
«Once in the boat, my colleagues made jokes about me. Juan said I just pretended "an accident" for being the center of the attentions of the group. I only smiled with them. For them, I just was missing for less than 15 minutes. For me, I spent hours and thousands of miles in the most unbelievable of experiences. Even today, I really do not know what happened to me in the sea. I only know for sure that my life was different after that event. In many ways, I changed for better. It is like if a new dimension or portal opened inside me» (nderf: 4165 – Celso).
«What I had to learn was that real beauty shines from deep within the soul. External beauty fades with time; it does with all of us; but real beauty comes from inside and never fades. It is internal and eternal. I had to learn that my worth as a human being isn't dependent on what others think of me, or whether they were happy with me or not. I also needed to learn that happiness doesn't come from an external source. In order to be truly happy, it has to come from inside my own heart. To God, I am me. That's all, just me. In His eyes, I am perfect being "just me." My worth is in being who God made me to be. What God wanted me to know was that He is always happy with me» (nderf: 4107 – Sharon M).
«Now, I imagine death as being an E-Ticket to the ultimate theme park, and I am the one who selects which park to experience. I also selecting the rides while I'm there. The rides can be as scary or peaceful and loving. It's always my choice. If you don't like the ride you're on, get off and find one that is more to your liking the next time around. After all, when God created humans in his likeness, he promised an eternity of joy and happiness. Since eternity is such a long time, and has no beginning or end, it covers all time everywhere» (nderf: 3993 – Duane S).
«I lived a normal life after that. As I grew and had heart-to-heart conversations with people and got to know people one-on-one, I could tell I was different from many people. I could tell the difference between those that were closed off and those who had been opened up. Some people understand the nature of things. Others don't. I am religious and spiritual. I don't need to go to church to talk to G*d. I talk to G*d every second of the day» (nderf: 3875 – Rachel E).
«The effect of these experiences on my life was profound. Overnight, I had become intensely empathetic. I could feel any pain or suffering and sense of isolation of people passing me in the street. I had an overwhelming sense of needing to DO something: my search for what this something is, has dominated the rest of my entire life. The sense of the reality of these experiences has far eclipsed anything else in my life. By this, I mean everything in comparison has been far less real. I could not use the words "God" or "Love" for many years as the reality of these words are so much greater than our "normal" usage» (nderf: 3794 – Bronwen C).
«I had a very difficult time afterwards, trying to adjust. I was an avid reader before, but became even hungrier for knowledge, absorbing lots of information the entire time. I became more conscious of the environment, of clean air, clean water, world hunger, wars and poverty. I grew such levels of empathy that at times it's hard not to feel the pain of another human being» (nderf: 3784 – Anna A).
«I was confused and extremely angry that I was back in my body. It took me about 4 years to bring up this event to my husband and then he belittled me stating that I was crazy. I never spoke about it again for about 10 years. By that time I was divorced and getting my life back together. I was still angry about being here but have come to terms with it and the anger is gone. I know I will be going back there when it is my time» (nderf: 3753 – Wendy G).
«When times are tough, I try not to think about how wonderful it was out of my body, when I was headed home. Nothing here on earth compares with it. I now have a tremendous homesickness for the other side. I try not to think about it too much because I need to focus on what I am doing here, instead of longing for that perfect other place» (iands: 20 December 2010 – Tremendous Homesickness).
«The experience was more real, more vivid, and more dimensional than living. I told a nurse just a little about it and she said, "Anesthetic causes strange dreams." I told others, including family and the doctors. Everyone looked at me like I was quite insane. Not one person believed me. Not one person wanted to hear the entire story. After several months my husband threatened to divorce me, if I kept talking about it. He said, everyone thinks you're crazy; you're talking like a complete lunatic» (iands: 18 April 2009 – All is Everything, Everything is One).
«I spent six months on anti-depressants prescribed by my doctor after the NDE as he felt I was going through post-natal depression. One has to remember that in the 1970s these subjects were taboo and rarely discussed or even known about, especially in Australia» (iands: 25 November 2008 – There is More).
«I'm still the same feeble, down-to-earth creature as always, but I have rediscovered a love of nature and a conviction of the sanctity of human life. It takes considerable effort to achieve humanhood. Our time here should be treasured and respected» (iands: 29 August 2008 – From the Sun Down to Earth).
«My near-death experience has changed me, I desire righteousness and I abhor evil. I'm actually quite thankful for my accident, even though it has changed my physical abilities adversely, but at the same time my spiritual abilities have blossomed enormously. Ever since I awoke from my coma I've had an attitude of peaceful hopefulness. I believe the reason why I still live and came back to earth is to testify about the beauty of the spirit world» (iands: 29 August 2008 – Spirit Communication).
«After I became aware of things again, I was a little perturbed that I had more of a "mission" to accomplish, especially since I haven't yet figured it out. So I live my life as a much kinder soul, with the knowledge that all of us have it somewhat right and all of us have it somewhat wrong. But in the end, something really cool awaits us on the other side» (iands: 29 August 2008 – You Cannot Go).
«I will carry this experience with me for the rest of my life. It has been extremely comforting. It has taught me, if nothing else, not to be afraid because I now know that there is continuity, and there are better, more fantastic, adventures and wonderful sensations awaiting me when I've finally decided it's time to quit the world that I'm currently all caught up in» (iands: 14 February 2008 – Charcoal Corridor).
«I appreciate the beauty of this world more, and have been fortunate enough to glimpse the future. As a scientist, I can appreciate the need for dedicated research performed in controlled settings...always questioning. I cannot however deny the reality of my own experience. The idea that the NDE can be explained by metabolic, electrical or other physiological parameters is unacceptable» (iands: 23 November 2007 – Natural Continuum).
«Ever since then it's like I have a heightened awareness of people's emotions or I feel the impact of how others are feeling more profoundly. I'm also more irritated that I'm in a body and have complained about it ever since each time I don't feel good or have problems physically. I find myself getting so frustrated about being in a body. I know now that my body is my prison (sad, but true) and my spirit is separate from my body but like a passenger (spirit) on a raft (the body) on an ocean (this life) called earth – an ocean full of sharks and storms no doubt» (iands: 16 April 2006 – Gargantuan Energy Source).
«I feel guilty a lot because I feel like I chose my husband over God and I never would want to do this. He doesn't know it but I sometimes feel resentment for the decision whoever made to send me back. I think about what I was told when I came back to my body, "You have a husband who Loves you very much" and I feel a lot of resentment» (iands: 05 March 2006 – More than Euphoria amid the Presence).
«I see things, am aware. I cannot bear to even kill a spider or destroy its web. Life is so much more precious to me. I believe that everything has spirit-consciousness, if you will. All life, both seen and unseen, is energy. Energy is life – it all comes from the same Source. We are all One, everything is One, past, present and future. Time is only an illusion, made up to suit our earthly experience» (iands: Friday, August 20, 2004 – 08.26 pm).
«Since my NDE I have jumped right back to the daily grinds of life. It's pretty hard not to, what with it in your face every day. It's a great illusion, almost a dream, except the illusion is real» (iands: Tuesday, April 13, 2004 – 11.03 am).
«But for several months after the episode I had this displaced feeling, like I just didn't belong here anymore. My eyes were sensitive to this light. This didn't seem to be my world anymore and I would just cry to go back. Well I told my doctor and he said that patients he has talked to have this same feeling. He asked me if I ever considered suicide. I told him, "no". He said that some people want to go back and they do this and have these thoughts» (iands: Monday, June 2, 2003 – 08.52 am).
«My entire life has changed. Where before happiness was so hard to find, it is all I know now. Anything I need comes to me. I feel blessed. Another thing about this experience is I felt guilty when I returned because when I was there, I didn't miss anyone. Not my children, my Father, no one. I believe these painful emotions no longer exist when we move on. All I felt there was a total comfort, which is something you can never know physically here on earth» (iands: Tuesday, January 7, 2003 – 07.53 pm).
«Do I believe in an afterlife? Completely. I now think that we occupy our bodies here on this plane of existence and will be all going to a far better place when we leave this life. I don't believe in the idea that there's a "HELL" – I think this is something the churches dreamed up a long time ago in order to keep people in line and to always have a captive audience that would and does support them» (iands: Sunday, December 8, 2002 – 12.45 pm).
These examples, as well as thousands of others, show the substantial differences that are found in the return to organic life – and to the individual psychic dynamics that it entails – by those who have had the good chance to experience the Spirit dimension. On the one hand there are those who are happy to live – waiting to go back for good to that dimension of which they had direct experience – because they are able to see the imprints of the Spirit's creativity even in this world, and they can fulfill towards others the task of carriers of a message of hope and trust in the return of the spiritual Ego to its true home. On the other hand, there are those who are overwhelmed by the homesickness and regret for that paradise lost – even if only temporarily – and are no longer able to bear the hardships and difficulties that organic life entails. It is evident how these differences reflect the substantial bipolar ambiguity of the human psyche, which in its fragmentation into billions of individual experiences determines personal destinies so different that they can become not comparable to each other, or at least irreducible to a single model of human existence, however wide it be. The fact remains that, once again, the Spirit manifests itself as a form of energy entirely different from the human psyche, and the real reasons why the conscious Ego must experience both the spiritual and the organic dimension remain mysterious, at least as long as the Ego stays relegated within the dimension controlled by the psyche: this is demonstrated by the fact that even the clear, immediate and indubitable knowledge, which the Ego sometimes experiences in the Spirit dimension, inexorably fades away when it returns into the mists of the human psyche.
top of page